JOKES & LIMERICKS

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

There are some things we musn't expose
So we hide them away in our clothes.
Oh, it's shocking to stare at what's certainly there
but why this is so, Heaven knows

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'Is that the New Jersey Star Ledger?' said Patrick.
'It is.'
'How much would it be to put an ad in your paper?'
'Five pounds an inch,' replied the receptionist.
Too dear!' snapped Patrick.
'Why? What are you selling?'
'A ten-foot ladder,' he said

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Paddy asked Casey for the hand of his daughter in wedlock.
'And can you support a family?' asked Casey.
'I think so,' replied Murphy.
'Well. There's six of us, you know,' said the future father-in-law.

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A very smart lady named Cookie
Said, "I like to mix gambling with nookie
Before every race
I go home to my place
And curl up with a very good bookie"

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There was an old girl of Kilkenny
Who usual charge was a penny
For half of that sum
You might fondle her bum
The source of amusement to many

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There was a young couple from Florida
Who passion grew steadily torrider
They had planned to sin at a room in the inn
But couldn't wait and screwed in the corrider

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A golfer who came from Calcutta
had thoughts much too pungent to utter
When his wife, as he found
after commencing a round
was whisking the eggs with his putter

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A farmer from Ballymacoda
Was awarded a special diploma
For telling apart
A masculine fart form a similar female aroma