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Irish Jokes

Irish Jokes for Paddy’s Day

irish jokes

 

Paddy Irishman (click here to read more)

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were reading a newspaper article about which nationalities’ brains were for sale for transplant purposes. An Irishman’s or a Scotsman’s brain could be bought for €500 but an Englishman’s brain cost €10,000. That proves,’ said The Englishman, ‘that Englishmen are much cleverer than Irishmen or Scotsmen.
No it doesn’t,’ said The Irishman, ‘it just means that an Englishman’s brain has never been used.’

Irish Jokes (click here to read more)

I’ve got my own recipe for Irish stew: Get some meat, some potatoes and a lot of Guinness Stout. Drink all of the beer. Forget about the stew.

Irish Drinking Jokes (click here to read more) 

An Irish priest is driving down the road and is pulled over for speeding.
The garda smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle beside him. He asks the priest, “Sir, have you been drinking?”
The priest responds, “No officer, just water,”
The policeman asks, “Then why do I smell wine?”
The priest looks at the bottle and says, “The Good Lord! He’s done it again!”

Irish Logic Jokes (click here to read more)

Sign in a London pub: ‘Happy hour – all you can drink for £1.’
Murphy went up to the bar and said ‘i’ll have two quids’ worth please.’

One Liners (click here to read more)

The Doctor was puzzled ‘I’m very sorry Mr O’Flaherty but I can’t diagnose your trouble. I think it must be drink.’
‘Don’t worry about it Dr Cullen, I’ll come back when you’re sober

Bawdy Irish Limericks (click here to read more)

A very smart lady named Cookie
Said, “I like to mix gambling with nookie
Before every race
I go home to my place
And curl up with a very good bookie

Irish Sayings (click here to read more)

May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrocks. May your heart be as light as a song. May each day bring you bright, happy hours that stay with you all the year long

Slightly Bawdy Irish Jokes (click here to read more)

Lassi says “Paddy we’ve been married along time. You’re good lookin and I think you’ve slept with alotta women. I won’t be mad but I would like to know how many if any. Paddy says. My lovely Lass you should know I never slept with anyone but you my Darlin. All the rest I was awake.

Irish, English & Scots Jokes (click here to read more)

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were each left 5,000 pounds by a rich man on condition that after his death they would each put 100 pounds into his coffin in case he needed it in the afterlife. The Englishman and the Scotsman duly put in their hundred pounds. The Irishman put in a cheque for his”

and a few more.. click the links below…

Slightly Bawdy Irish Limericks

Very Bawdy Irish Limericks

Rude Irish Jokes

 

irish jokes st Patricks Day